National Treasure
November 26, 2004 | Leave a Comment
Benjamin Franklin Gates (Nick Cage) comes from a long line of treasure seekers and like his grandfather and his grandfather before him. He is in constant search of the single greatest archeological find in history; A war chest of wealth passed on from empire to empire and protected by our founding fathers and the ancient Knights Templar. A collection so vast that it gets moved constantly to keep the whereabouts a secret… this alone from the trailer made the movie look like it was going to spend the entire time trying to live up to the 2 minute fast action clips as so many other films by Bruckheimer have done in the past. This one manages to live up to it and even go beyond at times.
The story begins somewhere north of the Arctic Circle where Ben Gates, his sidekick Riley Poole (Justin Bartha) and the benefactor of the expedition Ian Howe (Sean Bean) are looking for a sunken ship that has been frozen under ice for over 200 years in hopes of locating the map to the above titled treasure. Some ridiculous dialogue and a couple of plot devices are brought into play to bring the story along that won’t make a bit of sense until later on… One thing leads to another between Ian and Ben when it turns out the treasure isn’t aboard and all they find is yet another clue. Cage then deciphers a puzzle so cryptic that the CIA couldn’t decode it in a year with help from Stephen Hawking and it takes him about 4 minutes. But this is a Bruckheimer film, so I accept it and keep watching anyway. This secret clue tells the group that the map is actually located on the back of The Declaration of Independence which is locked safely away in Washington DC’s national archives. Double 06 doesn’t blink an eye when he reveals to our hero that he wasn’t always just a check writer and at another time in his life he was known to fracture a rule or 50 to get what he wanted. He tells Ben he has associates that could ‘acquire’ the document and they would just borrow it, get the map off the back and return it when they are finished. Ben is strongly against it and says “this is it no more”, he is done. How do you think this sits with our baddy? You guessed it class, it sat none too comfortable for Boramir. So, Mr. Bean and his cronies try and pop a cap in our hero and his little buddy thus creating our much needed villain for the next couple of hours.
Gates and Riley survive the big boom and head to DC to protect the Declaration. They tell everyone from the secret service to the FBI and no one will listen. Frustrated he goes to the National Archives and tries to explain himself to the person in charge of the document; Abigail Chase (Diane Kruger). She thinks he is loony tunes too (I love those cartoons) and sends him on his merry way, leaving him no alternative but to protect the Declaration by stealing it himself before Ian can. The table is set and the adventure begins and goes full throttle until the credits roll.
The chase goes all over New England and we get to see some pretty cool plot twists along with a big finish where the elements all come together to make a solid DISNEY guy movie from start to finish. If you don’t believe me you can go see it this Thanksgiving season and find out for yourself. I know you will like it if you keep the movie in perspective and don’t expect more than it offers. Oh, if you think this review gives away too much, you can just fuggedaboutit, everything above happens in the first 15 minutes. I didn’t give anything away. Keep in mind that this is the 4th pairing between Jerry and Nick and this one holds up to the rest.
When you see the name Jerry Bruckheimer in the trailer or local TV ad you should know what that means, and if you do, then this movie is for you. It is being called a poor mans Raiders and I don’t agree with that particular indictment at all. I sat in the theatre for some 2 plus hours and I never once looked at my watch or shifted in my seat to try and force some sort of temporal time shift to get it over with faster and for me that is usually the sign of a good movie.
Seed of Chucky
November 22, 2004 | Leave a Comment
In 1988 Don Mancini wrote and scripted the very first Child’s Play film and here it is 16 years later and he is back with a 5 th one and this time he wants to direct… uh oh boys and girls someone missed the memo on knowing your limitations. The premise of the films is a fixture in poop culture (that is not a misprint) and has been since the world fell in love with the little “Good Guy” Charles Lee Ray back in the good old 80’s. The problem is, just because you can tell a story in print it doesn’t mean you can do it visually. I know we here at moviesfor guys pride ourselves on never commenting on the direction and or cinematography but in this case it could not be over looked because it sucked.
I liked the first 4 pretty good but this one just doesn’t measure up and the biggest point to bring to light is the scheduled release date. Even a half wit production assistant knows if you are going to release a horror movie it has to be at the end of summer around mid-August or anytime between the last week of September and the last week of October so you get your scares during spookie-boogins season, NOT during F’N Turkey eating season. This one didn’t have the sack to hold up to Saw or even The Grudge for that matter so they picked the safest spot in the schedule they could and if it weren’t for Tilly’s rack and the never ending giggles when Junior’s name gets called by his new master (too funny to spoil) I would have left after the opening credits. Anywho enough venting, on to the review.
Disclaimer: Don’t expect much it will be a short one.
The movie picks up about 6 years after the previous one with the little one posing as an English ventriloquist dummy where we get a few laughs but nothing really noteworthy occurs. Until one day ‘Junior’ voiced by Billy Boyd is watching an Access Hollywood show and notices that they are making a film based on Chucky and Tiffany’s lives so he packs up and heads to Hollywood to bring his parental units back from the dead (why?). The wee tyke is successful and when Mommy and Daddy see that they have in fact pro-created they are less than thrilled with the result. It seems the fruit of Chucky’s loins is missing the stem. So since it has neither a John Thomas or Little Miss Muffet to speak of he gets the name of Glen from Pop and Glenda from Mom… Gotta love the Ed Wood reference.
The twisted couple again voiced excellently by Brad Douriff and Jennifer Tilly decide they want more kids and they decide to populate the bodies of the star of the Chucky movie in this Chucky movie (confused or just irritated yet?), Jennifer Tilly herself and the Rapper wanna-be director Redman. They try and kill a lot people along the way where we get to see buckets of squish and ooze but the big problem is the movies lack of identity. It really isn’t horror and it isn’t deep enough to be considered dark comedy and it just isn’t consistently funny enough to be called a straight comedy…(sigh) It is just a big disappointment. And, that will do it. Any more and I will be forced to remember too much and I might be forced to do something drastic.
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Gun Play
Blood & Gore Car Chases T&A Chuckles |
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