The Day After Tomorrow
January 28, 2005 | Leave a Comment
The Day After Tomorrow is one of those huge summer movies from director Roland Emmerich. It follows in the foot steps of Independence Day and Godzilla. And like those two movies it has huge special effects that are jaw dropping the first time you see them. But also like those two movies, the plot is as thin as Michael Moore’s chances of getting an invitation to sleep in the Lincoln bedroom.
The story is due to global warming the climate makes a very sudden change. At first there are storms all over the northern hemisphere. We see softball sized hail in Tokyo, multiple tornados tearing through Los Angeles and surging seas that cover New York City in 40 foot of water. If that’s not bad enough, the temperature drops to sub-Arctic levels and thrusts the entire northern hemisphere into a new ice age.
This makes for some wonderful special effects and that is why people will go to see this movie. This film features some of the best CGI work done to date. The visuals of the events I described above are outstanding.
There are a couple of major problems with the movie though. First off, the characters and the plot surrounding them to tie all of these events together really requires that you check your sense of disbelief at the door. Background characters die by the millions, some brutally like the idiot news men trying to cover the events. And we’re seeing events that would kill millions worldwide. But the movie ignores that. And when we see the masses, they are well behaved, there’s no panic, no looting. They’re trying to reach safety, but they’re not trampling each other or bashing each other with blunt objects as they struggle to hoard things like bottled water. While all of these people are getting frozen, washed away or having their skulls bashed in with huge chunks of hail, our main characters can seemingly just out run anything that happens. Turn around to notice a wall of water coming down the street and what do you do? Simple, you run! If you’re a main character, you make it.
And then there’s what I’ll call the “hippie propaganda” factor of this movie. Ok, we’ll accept that this is a “global warming” message movie. But they dont stop there. It has a President who cant make a decision without consulting his VP who looks astonishingly like Dick Cheney. The U.S. government is clearly painted as a villain in the movie. The whole global warming message backfires as far as I’m concerned. What we show here is that the Earth is quite resilient. Whatever damage we as humans do, the Earth will fix. Melt the ice caps, and she’ll just have another ice age and grow some new ones. Dont worry about saving the planet, save the humans!
The Day After Tomorrow has a weak plot, and characters who are idiots and unbelievable. We also hate having politics shoved down our throat as part of our movies. So why are we giving this thing 4 stars? It’s purely for the eye candy. This one needs to be seen on the big screen. Check your brain at the door and just sit back and watch.
Popularity: 14% [?]
Friday Night Lights
January 22, 2005 | Leave a Comment
Based on true accounts from a book by H.G Bissinger titled: Friday Night Lights: A Town, a Team, and a Dream. This film gives a sometimes touching, and other times ugly look into the lives and fears of the small town of Odessa Texas and their Permian High School football program. From the both the book and the movie, it appears there isn’t a whole lot to do when you grow up in West Texas so, if you are a young man and you live there it is almost assured that you will follow in the footsteps of your daddy and his daddy before him and play football for the Odessa-Permian Panthers, And you will WIN!!!
The Panthers are a Perennial Powerhouse in the state of Texas and have won state as of 1988; The time this movie was set a total of 4 times and were National champions once. The town expects nothing less from the team and the coaching staff than another State championship. Anything less would be considered a failure. So, if there were one character in the movie that could be considered “main”, it would have to be the coach. Coach Gary Gaines (Billy Bob) is the one the town will blame or praise in victory or defeat and Thornton was the perfect choice to bring him and his desire to win to the screen.
Like most major sports movies, the story follows a few players and the actors that portray them; This film is no different. The star running back, Boobie Miles (Derek Luke) is the centerpiece of the Panthers Offense and considered by most to be unstoppable. The impact he serves is evident from the first scene in the film when you see scouts from practically every division one college in the NCAA studying his every move� at the first practice of the season (WOW!). Do I need to tell you what happens next? Yes? Good, cause I was gonna do it anyway.
Get ready for it because the drama is about to thicken like a Milkshake from Johnny Rockets (drool)� The first couple of games Boobie and the Panthers run up and down the field on the opposition and there isn’t a doubt in any ones mind that they will go undefeated all the way to the state championship, until� dun-dun-dun� He stays in too long in a blowout game and gets injured. Now with the Panthers trailing and no star to carry them to the promise land, the hopes of the season fall on the shoulders of the Senior Quarterback Mike Winchell (Lucas Black) who’s job until tonight was to do nothing but hand the ball to Boobie (I just like typing the word Boobie) and not lose the game. The team fights hard without their star but the other team fights a little bit harder and just like that the hopes of being undefeated fly out the window. The town’s disgust is pretty clear when you see the coach’s front yard after the game. Well, I will let you figure the rest out for yourselves. You know the drill. Buy a ticket and see it for yourself. We only guide we don’t spoon feed.
Critics around the country (not that I give 2 flying F’s what they think) are raving about this film and calling it the GREATEST sports movie of all time. Now, I don’t know if I would go that far but, I would definitely put it in the top 5� With that being said, I give it 4 very big stars; The only reason it does not get 5 is there were no car chases to speak of and the T&A is very limited. But, the hits in this movie are some of, if not the best ever filmed.
Popularity: 14% [?]
Spider-man 2
January 18, 2005 | Leave a Comment
Spider-man 2 is the sequel to 2002’s wildly popular Spider-man. The entire gang is back with Tobey Maguire as Peter Parker and Spider-man, Kirsten Dunst as love interest, and Sam Raimi is again the director. And none of them missed a beat.
The second movie pretty much picks up where the last movie left off. Peter Parker is still in college, Mary Jane is on Broadway, and Spiderman is still battling bad guys. One of the reasons that the Spiderman comic books are so popular though is because Spidey is like most of us. He is not a millionaire, and he has issues. He’s delivering pizzas and having trouble hanging onto that job because he’s often late with the pie due to Spidey having to swing into action.
Our villain du jour is one of the best from the comic version, Doctor Octopus. For those who dont know Doc Ock, he has 4 really long and powerful mechanical arms to go with the appendages he was born with. So Spidey’s dealing with a lot of stuff. He’s broke, Aunt Mae is about to be evicted, his grades are slipping, he cant tell the girl he loves how he feels and he’s got a dude with 4 arms throwing cars at him. The man has issues! And it makes for a great movie.
Now for the important stuff. The battles are excellent and the CGI effects are smoother and more realistic looking than the first movie. And yes, they somehow did manage to find an excuse to get Mary Jane wet and cold again. And I must say, my compliments to the surgeon!
Virtually every significant comic book character has now been licensed and appears headed for the big screen if they aren’t already there. However, it’s going to be hard for any of them to top Spiderman. It’s quite simple actually, it’s about the characters and the storytelling, and the Spiderman movies have stayed true to what makes him popular. About the only nit I can pick is they need to add more Spiderman wise cracks. But J. Jonah Jameson down at the Daily Bugle is taking up the slack. In short, just go see it. 5 stars, ‘nuf said.
Popularity: 14% [?]
Kill Bill Vol. 2
January 17, 2005 | Leave a Comment
Kill Bill Vol. 2 is the continuation of Kill Bill Vol. 1. Note there is a big difference between a sequel and a continuation. Both parts were filmed at the same time. Quentin Tarantino reportedly filmed over 500 minutes of material and stood no chance of cutting it down to a reasonable length for one movie. So he split the film into two pieces. If you haven’t seen Volume 1, I would strongly recommend doing so before watching volume 2.
Volume 2 picks up right where Volume 1 left off, more or less. In typical Tarantino style, the time line bounces around a bit. Uma Thurman again plays the bride, an she still has a major case of the red ass about being shot in the head by Bill on her wedding day. She’s determined to kill the remaining members of the Deadly Viper Assassin team, and then she intends to Kill Bill.
Whereas Volume 1 was almost all action, Volume 2 fills in the story. The second volume answers most of the questions left over from the first movie and explains the relationship between the bride and Bill. We also learn where she gained her skills and just how deadly she really is. There’s much less action, and a lot more Tarantino style dialogue in the second movie.
Bill himself turns out to be a really classic character. He makes a very cool unusual villain. He’s the type of guy that you’d love to sit and drink with, but you would want to keep an eye on him if he followed you into the restroom. David Carradine is perfectly cast for the role. One has to wonder if Kill Bill may ressurect his career in much the same way Vincent Vega revived John Travolta’s career.
Kill Bill Volume 2 didn’t quite click for us as well as Volume 1 did, but we still give it a strong 4 stars. It completes the storiy, and if you’ve seen Volume 1 and enjoyed it, you must see Volume 2. I highly recommend watching the first movie on DVD and then going to see the second movie on the big screen the following night. Will there be a Volume 3? Tarantino hints that there will be, but it may be 15 years before he does it. We’ll have to see if little Nikki still feels raw about her mom being killed.
Popularity: 15% [?]
2 Fast 2 Furious
January 17, 2005 | Leave a Comment
2 Fast 2 Furious is the sequel to 2001’s wildly popular The Fast and the Furious. Once again the movie revolves around street racing, but this is a very different film from the original. Can a new supporting cast and new director match the success of the first movie? We think so!
John Singleton of Boyz in the Hood and Shaft fame replaces Rob Cohen as director. Vin Diesel and all of the original supporting cast are gone, but Paul Walker is back to reprise his role as Brian O’Connor. This time he’s joined by Tyrese Gibson as Roman. It’s kind of obvious that the screenplay was written with the hope that Diesel would return. Roman ends up being an angrier wise-cracking version of Vin’s Toretto character.
This movie finds Brian kicked off the police force and street racing in Miami. He gets busted and the FBI and Customs cuts a deal whereby his record will be cleansed if he goes undercover to help them get a dirty importer/exporter. Check your brain at the door at this point otherwise you’ll find yourself asking silly questions like “why would you hire street racers to run your loads for you at 100+ mph down the interstate in broad daylight?”.
The allure of these movies isn’t the plot though. It’s the cars and the racing. In that regard, this movie is a bit better than the first. The races are a little longer as they’re not just doing quarter mile drag races. And there are also some massive chase sequences that tear up a lot of cars. The ricers are once again the star of the show, but we were pleased to see lots of different types of performance cars getting representation this time. We suspect John Singleton may be a closet car guy.
We went into this movie with low expectations, but we had a great time. We’re giving this one a strong 4 stars. The movie has an entirely different feel from the first. It’s much lighter with more humor, and the scenery, storyline and soundtrack give it kind of a Miami Vice meets hip hop flare. It worked, so if you like cars and this sounds like your bag, go see it.
Popularity: 16% [?]
Pearl Harbor
January 16, 2005 | Leave a Comment
Michael Bay is a man’s director. With titles like Bad Boys, The Rock and Armageddon under his belt, there is no question that he has high levels of testosterone flowing through his veins. So when I heard that he was at the helm of a movie about the attack on Pearl Harbor, I was high-fiving everyone I met for several days afterwards. Now, after having just seen the movie, I am happy to report that he has delivered the goods once again. I do have *one* little question though.
WHAT IN THE HECK WAS ALL THAT ROMANCE CRAP?!?
I had read before going in that the movie was heavily weighted towards the romantic relationship between Affleck, Beckinsale and Hartnett, and so, naturally, I was a bit apprehensive as I sat down in my seat. The movie starts off well enough and with nary a female in sight thanks to some obligatory recaps of the two boys’ childhoods and their adventures during air combat training but, unfortunately, that didn’t last. I have to be honest and admit that the romantic dreck quotient (RDQ) wasn’t as high as I was expecting but to even be worrying about it at all in a MICHAEL-FREAKING-BAY movie is a bit of a sad statement all by itself.
There’s no point in diving too deep into the romantic aspects of the movie except to say there is enough romance to satisfy any girlfriends or wives who might normally have to be dragged kicking and screaming to see an action movie. The only other point to make is that Beckinsale is a darn good looking woman and it’s a damn shame she didn’t get nekkid somewhere between the opening and closing credits.
Now, as for the battle sequences, you will find few movies that can rival this one in scope and grandeur. I was skeptical that Bay & Co., as talented as they are, would be able to pull off a 40 minute battle sequence of such a large scale and area of coverage without it becoming confusing or muddled in some way. But I must tip my hat to them and their efforts. The attack on Pearl Harbor was great as was the drama that played out just before the attack occurred. Granted, historical accuracy had a few liberties taken with it but it wasn’t outright raped as it was in U-571. For the sake of some great flying action, I can live with a few omissions and inconsistencies.
As a bonus, we get other battles, too! The Nazis couldn’t be left out and so we are treated to some nice aerial dogfighting between the Eagle Squadron, a group of US pilots flying for the Brits in Spitfires, and the Luftwaffe’s finest over the English Channel. Also, as you might have gleaned from the previews, the end of the movie covers the famous Doolittle raid on Tokyo. I must say that seeing a stripped down B-25 bomber taking off in only 467 feet from a WWII aircraft carrier is an amazing sight.
All in all, I was quite happy with the movie so don’t let the fear of getting lost in the Bermuda Love Triangle keep you from taking in the action here.
Popularity: 14% [?]
Macross II
January 16, 2005 | Leave a Comment
No, Virginia, the moon isn’t made of cheese. Why not, you say? Because all the cheese in the universe is in Japan, that’s why!
I own several anime titles and I’ve viewed tons more. Vampire Hunter D, in fact, is one of my favorite movies. I say this up front because you might otherwise think I have a hatred of the stuff. But I digress…
Macross II: Super Dimensional Fortress sucks. It reeks. It blows chunks. And I can’t believe that I made it through all of this nearly 3 hour hunk of stinky cheese.
The story is the first of its many bad aspects. Imagine that our planet regularly comes under attack from a group of aliens called the Zentraedi (who look remarkably human). It’s no big deal, however, because the people of earth know the secret to defeating the Zentraedi each time and that secret is pop music.
Yes, you read that right. You see, the aliens are naturally very aggressive and they need some kind of influence exerted upon them in order to channel their emotions and actions. Enter the “Emulators,” a group of sexpot Zentraedi females who ride in big spaceships and sing a “song of war” for the soldiers. The people of earth found out long ago, however, that all you have to do to defeat the dreaded song of war was to broadcast your own pop music video in order to drown it out. Faced with no leadership, the Zentraedi soldiers are then easy pickings even with their impressive powered battle armor.
Enter Ishtar, a Zentraedi Emulator that is brought to earth after her fleet is defeated. Here she is sheltered by a news reporter named Hibiki who discovers that song can be used for things other than war and that music can be beautiful and soothing. Afterwards, with the aid of Hibiki and a crack pilot named Silvie, she endeavors to teach these lessons of love and beauty to her own people.
I won’t mention any more from this point since it would be giving away too much and, as well, it isn’t worth writing about in the first place.
Popularity: 14% [?]
Saving Private Ryan
January 16, 2005 | Leave a Comment
The Army, in its infinite wisdom, does some really stupid things. The premise of the movie (and it’s based on a true story) is that the Ryan family sent four brothers into the war, three of which were killed at or around D-Day. When a certain General learns of the fate of the Ryan brothers he decides that it would be “the decent thing” to send in troops to get the one remaining Ryan brother out of the war.
OK, I’ll concede that it’s the decent thing to do, but what about the mothers of the men who were killed just to try and save Private Ryan? What about their families?
As I’m sure you are well aware Spielberg won many awards for this movie, and they were all quite deserved. Simply put, Saving Private Ryan is a masterpiece and really should be required viewing for any movie buff and a required part of any war film buff’s library.
The opening sequence is about 30 minutes long and deals with the D-day invasion. If you’ve never been truly convinced that “war is hell”, you will be after viewing this. I can’t say enough about the quality of the filming and special effects. I haven’t seen a battle first hand so I can’t tell you for certain that this depiction is accurate, but many veterans who have seen it report that it’s as close to the real thing as would be possible.
Acting is top notch as well with everyone turning in amazing performances. These characters are 100% believable and deal with quite trying conditions in exactly the manner as would be expected. They don’t always get along, and they aren’t all “brave little soldiers”, but that’s just the way things are. People do the best they can given their circumstances.
After seeing this film in the theaters I rated it 4 stars instead of 5 as I felt it was too long and moved too slowly in parts. After seeing it on DVD however I’ve raised my rating to 5 stars. Yes, it’s still slow in some parts and might have benefited from a little editing, but I can’t find any sequence in the film that could be cut without hurting the movie. If the action is too tense for some, or if the movie is too long you can just pause the movie, take a break then come back to it later.
Popularity: 15% [?]
Royal Space Force: The Wings of Honneamise
January 16, 2005 | Leave a Comment
Anime without Mechs, police babes in skimpy uniforms, school girls, battle tanks or creatures from hell. Even without all the traditional Anime trappings, this turns out to be a pretty good film.
The story takes place on an Earth-like planet on the verge of space exploration. The nations are constantly at war with each other, and the idea of spending money on a nonmilitary project doesn’t sit well with some members of the government. However, the Space Force is a pet project of the Emperor and continues to work on its project to put a man in orbit anyway.
The members of the Royal Space Force aren’t exactly up to NASA standards. Its apparent that most of them joined the service as a way to get out of more traditional military service, or perhaps as a way to draw a paycheck without doing any real work.
When one of them (Shiro Lhadatt) meets a girl handing out religious tracts in the street, he’s intrigued. He goes to a meeting to discuss the information in the tract he received, but he really just wants to get to know the girl. In attempt to impress her, Shiro volunteers to pilot the orbit-bound rocket when nobody else in the Space Force would step to the plate. The things guys do to impress girls…
The rest of the movie focuses on Shiro growing interest in the space program and in the religious beliefs of his new girlfriend. There’s some political intrigue thrown in to spice things up as well, leading to an overall satisfying movie experience.
If you want lots of explosions and scantily clad school girls though, you should look elsewhere.
Popularity: 14% [?]
House on Haunted Hill
January 16, 2005 | Leave a Comment
As cheezy horror flicks go, this one isn’t bad. It delivers exactly what you’d expect based on the trailers and marketing. Nothing more. Nothing less.
The trick to coming up with a premise for these haunted house movies is how do you come up with a plausible reason for several would-be victims to enter a house that no one in their right mind would go into for less than three Scooby-snacks. This one actually has some originality. Steven Price, played by Geoffrey Rush, is the owner of several terror based amusement parks and is an absolute master of using special effects to scare the hell out of his patrons. However, he hates his wife and she doesn’t seem too fond of him either. So when she comes up with an idea for her birthday party, he turns it around and into something twisted and scary.
The “house” is actually an old hospital for the criminally insane. The doctor went crazy back in the 1930’s and killed all of his patients. Their spirits are supposedly still there. The house has been recently refurbished and is rented to Price and his wife for their little party. The guest list gets twisted around, but the premise ends up being that anyone who stays thru the night and makes it out alive gets a million bucks.
What follows is typically haunted house horror movie fair. But it is done with some decent modern day effects, and there are some really nice twists along the way. This is one of those movies that tries to keep you guessing as to what’s real, and it does a decent job.
The stars of this movie are… Well, as The Rock says “IT DOESN’T MATTER WHAT THEIR NAME IS!”. Let’s face it, there are no big name stars and no one is getting an Oscar off of this movie. It’s a booger movie, the star is the booger, in this case the house and it’s ghostly effects. My biggest fault with the movie is they included some decent babeage and kept them completely clothed the entire time. We do get some glimpses of tah tahs during some psychotic episodes, but nothing good.
I can’t say I would consider this movie scary, I don’t even remember jumping when they try to startle the audience. However, if the reaction of the girl in front of me was any indication at least some people will find this pretty intense. Only herself and whoever does her laundry will know for sure. This movie only rates two stars overall as this is one that can most certainly wait for video. However, if you’re in the mood for a good old fashioned booger movie this one fits the bill very nicely.
Popularity: 14% [?]
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