Mr. & Mrs. Smith

November 28, 2005 | Leave a Comment

Someone once told me, “Never underestimate the predictability of stupid people.” I took that advice to heart but, even still, I find myself hoping against hope that the “least common denominator” crowd that seemingly runs Hollywood will turn out a “summer blockbuster” action movie that ISN’T completely transparent and predictable.

It was, therefore, with only mild expectations that I ventured into the theater to view Mr. & Mrs. Smith. The premise of the movie is one that Hollywood has played around with a lot over the years, varying the details only slightly here and there (True Lies, Prizzi’s Honor, War of the Roses, etc). Given this historical knowledge and a trailer that gives WAY too much away (or seems to, but thats another rant**), I figured I knew *exactly* where this one was headed.

As it turns out, however, it wasn’t entirely predictable. Some of what happens is telegraphed and should be obvious to even the sub-room temperature IQ club, but they do manage to include a good swerve or two. So, for that, I am grateful.

For those who may have been working in a coal mine in Latvia for the past few months and haven’t seen the trailers for this flick, the story involves a hotter-than-hot couple that meet in Columbia, have a sizzing affair, and get married 6 weeks later. Both husband and wife are assassins working for competing organizations, but neither of them know that tidbit about the other. So, while each one lives a continually fabricated lie to the other, the marriage suffers. It suffers, that is, until the day their secrets become known to each other. The term “domestic violence” doesn’t do justice to what happens after that.

The other aspects of the movie, however, leave me little to complain about. The action is, as expected, top notch. The pace is always fast but the camera still manages to capture it cleanly so that you don’t get dizzy or confused about what you just saw. I will say, however, that the use of hand-cams in a couple of places was, at least to me, rather out of place and made for some disjointed feelings here and there.

The casting was perfect and the on-screen chemistry between Brad and Angelina was just this side of sizzling. Vince Vaughn steals pretty much all the scenes he’s in, as well. All three looked as if they were having an absolute blast during the filming and it shows through their comfort level with the roles.

Humor-wise, this was a MUCH funnier movie than I was expecting. I figured I’d be watching an action flick with the obligatory one-liners but there was much more humor than that. There are some genuinely very funny scenes that raise the movie’s category to that of a true Action-Comedy. In fact, one particular scene has Pitt, with almost a wink & a nod, acknowledge the action-scene one-liner cliche that Arnie made into a franchise so long ago. Yes, I was amused.

Pacing, however, was a bit off. The first half of the movie moves too slowly and treats us to lots of sessions with a marriage counselor. While the chemistry between the two leads is allowed to fully manifest itself in these scenes, you might find yourself stifling a yawn or two. This is not a huge complaint, but it should be noted for posterity.

In summary, this could have been a 5-star movie if not for the predictability and the slow beginning, but it’s still a very solid 4-star flick that would have to be seen on the big screen in order to be fully appreciated.

Harry Potter and The Goblet of Fire

November 18, 2005 | Leave a Comment

Goblet of Fire is the best of the 4 Harry Potter movies so far and if this is any indication, they will only get better. Director Mike Newell went a different direction with the tone of the characters and the scenery than previous directors Columbus and Cuaron did and it worked to perfection. This being the 4th book, the overall tone of the story is getting darker and darker, so the movie really needed to capture that feeling of dread that the books bring to life so well. You know something bad is going to happen but you keep reading to find out just how bad it’s going to get, Newell brought that to life… too bad he only gets to direct this one.

On to the story at hand - Unlike the previous 3 where you get to see humor first; Harry and the Dursleys and their antics, this chapter goes the other direction - GOF starts out with a very creepy dream sequence! Harry wakes up only to find he is safely tucked away with his favorite family the Weasleys and instead of being dead, as in his dream, he is on his way to the Quidditch World Cup. This is where our story kicks off with a bang. While at the match (that’s what Brit’s call football games) the gang, get over run by the henchmen of Lord Voldemort known as ‘Death Eaters’. The Death Eaters burn the camp and search high and low for Harry so they can deliver him to the dark lord, so he can get his long awaited revenge against the only person to survive his dreaded killing curse. This is all very complicated if you haven’t seen the previous 3 movies or read the books so if you are lost - I suggest you get that Netflix queue lined up and see the first 3 before seeing this one because it gets even more complicated as we go.

The Next chapter picks up as the school year is beginning. Dumbledore announces to the students that they will be hosting 2 other Wizarding schools students throughout the year and that this was going to be a very special occasion. The occasion he speaks of is a competition involving one student from each school called the Tri-Wizard tournament. The only condition is that each competitor must be of legal age to compete so no one under the age of 17 will be permitted. This is a Harry Potter story so you know the rules change or else we wouldn’t be talking about this. Anywhoo, Harry winds up being chosen along with a boy from Hogwarts named Cedric Diggery, a very (soon to be) hot chick named Fleur, and last a big oafish looking guy named Viktor. Each of the 4 will participate in 3 dangerous tasks and the winner will be the champion… so on and so forth for about 2 more hours.

This movie is very good. It has amazing special effects, decent acting with the exception of Watson - who overacts constantly, and last but not least a very mature story that was adopted perfectly from the best selling book. In short; I will see it again and once it makes the DVD run I will be one of the first to buy it because it is that damn good. It is very late in the year so I might even go so far as to say it might get attention form the Academy… Not that we care what they think. Remember we have our own awards and they are much better…cough… Cro-Magnons this January..cough!

Miami Vice: Season One

November 18, 2005 | Leave a Comment

In 1984, then NBC president Brandon Tartikoff asked for a show to be developed for the upcoming season using one concept… MTV cop show. So, televison producer Anthony Yerkovich and writer/director Micheal Mann stepped forward and pitched what is in my opinion the show of shows, and of course NBC loved the idea, greenlighted the project thus changing TV forever.

For any man born between 1950 and 1978 that has seen this show and loved it as much as we did, you can skip to the bottom. But, if you were under a rock or have never seen an episode due to coma and or political exile, I will give a brief synopsis.

The show follows the lives of 2 Miami Dade vice detectives; James ‘Sonny’ Crockett (Johnson) and his partner Ricardo Tubbs (Thomas). They pursue drug dealers, pimps, porn kings, home invaders and assorted other scum and villainy. They drive around in a “Ferrari (fake) Spyder” and wear thousand dollar suits. All in an attempt to fit the roles of deep, deep, deep undercover cops in the sleazy, neon clad Miami underworld. With the added assistance of the rest of the unit; two chicks, two slackers and Castillo (Olmos), the Lt. that never speaks above a whisper you had an awesome show.

One last tidbit. You have never seen so many up and coming stars as Miami Vice had in it’s 5 years and season one was no exception. Bail Organa, Al Bundy, John McLaine, Mike Torello, Vick Vega, Herbert Stempel, Jackie Brown and even Marsellus Wallace show up before the end of disc 3 side B. Of course that isn’t all of them, the list goes on and on but I will leave a few for you to be suprised by.

There were many TV cop dramas on TV at this time but none with the flash and depth of this one. Other shows on during this period were just that, television shows. Disposable characters doing the same thing in the same setting week in, week out… boring. Michael Mann decided to modify that concept for his show with ‘real’ music, motion picture style cinematography and editing and last but not least $$$MONEY$$$. With a cost of a little over a million dollars an episode, the show had to look like it was worth the cost and it did.

This DVD set is the perfect compliment to that style using a 5.1 dolby digital enhanced soundtrack and complete restoration of each episode to digital quality, it is perfect. I just hope it sells well enough that they keep going. One season just isn’t going to cut it for this fanatic, I have to have all five for my life to be complete.

Stealth

November 14, 2005 | Leave a Comment

Stealth is one of those movies that no critic will like, and any guy who just wants to see stuff blow up will love. I was in a crappy theater, sitting in a crappy seat and yet I still managed to have fun watching this movie.

This is going to be a really easy movie to sum up, I’m sure you’ve all guessed the plot from the trailers anyway. Three pilots are in a top secret military program testing out some kick ass planes, when a fourth member of the team is brought in. The fourth member happens to be a quantum computer attached to an upgraded version of the same plane. Oh, do you think maybe the lead pilot might not want to be flying with a machine? “It can’t think like we do!”

Off on a training mission they go, which turns into a real mission, and EDI (the computer, Extreme Deep Invader, I’m not kidding) gets hit by lightening. Number 5 is alive! Not really, he was pretty much self aware before the bolt of energy, that just kinda messed him up a little. He has a bit of trouble landing, but is soon cleared for mission duty, and then things start going wrong.

He disobeys orders, goes rogue, blows stuff up, feels bad about it, etc. etc. etc. Seriously, do I need to tell you this stuff.

What’s important to understand about this movie is that it’s dumb, but in a fun sort of way. The special effects are surprisingly good, the number of explosions are the highest I’ve seen outside of a war movie, and the sound is great. OK, so the acting is a bit off, and the story is so predictable it’ll make you laugh. Do you think there might be a tragedy at some point? Do you think there’s a computer nerd involved? Do you think the tower is gonna get buzzed? Heck, I kept waiting for goose to show up.

Don’t take your girlfriend and/or wife to see this one, they’ll just poke fun at you every time you grin. Grab a couple of beers at the local Hooters with your buds, then hit the megaplex and enjoy the show.

And don’t forget the popcorn.

Get Rich or Die Tryin’

November 14, 2005 | Leave a Comment

A couple of days ago if someone asked me if I had heard of 50 Cent, I would have checked my pockets and handed the guy two quarters. Today I know he is a former gangster turned rapper that was shot NINE times! I know this because the movie Get Rich or Die Tryin’ tells me it is so. This film is a fictional spin on the true-life story of one Curtis ’50 Cent’ Jackson and told from mutiple angles. Orphan turned drug dealer – Drug Dealer turned Gangsta - Gangsta turned inmate - Inmate turned father - Father turned Rapper. I mean father as in parent to a child, not ‘Father’ as in man of the cloth. Just felt like I needed to clear that one up before we go any further.

The movie opens with a botched robbery of a Columbian check-cashing joint involving main character Marcus (50) and 3 members of his crew, including cell mate turned manager, Bama (Howard). Marcus needs money to hold him over until his record deal comes through, and this seemed like the easiest way to get it. The robbery is over and Marcus is in front of his Grandma’s place when the infamous shooting occurs. One unknown (at this time anyway) shooter comes from out of nowhere and starts blasting. Eight bullets catch Marcus in various parts of the body, he tries to crawl away but due to blood loss and being shot in general, he doesn’t get far before his would be assassin catches up to him. The shooter walks up, puts the gun to his head and this is when the real story begins. Marcus is internally narrating at this point, just like any character that is about to head into the great recording studio in the sky, which makes him flash back 10 years to when he was 12 years old and things weren’t so complicated.

Things start out well enough, a little boy singing in the car with his mom as they go to see Grandma for Sunday dinner. Tales of urban woe never wind up that way so you know bad things are coming. Marcus’ mother is not what you could consider an honest hard working member of society… she is drug dealer so as an audience you just wait for the inevitable. It comes pretty quickly so you don’t have to wait too long, I promise. Mommy pushes the wrong competitor and gets herself killed, thus leaving little Marcus left alone. Grandma and Grandpa do the best they can, considering the house has eight kids in it already. Little Marcus follows in Mommy’s footsteps and becomes a cocaine dealer on the same corner his mom used to control. Rival drug dealers push him around, he gets a gun, gets kicked out… blah blah blah. The story is very typical of the genre so there is no reason to explain any more of it than I already have, so we will call it here. If you are a fan of 50’s music and like this type of story you will like it. If you are looking for a thought provoking, multi layered story and you don’t care for hip-hop music, this movie is not for you.

50 Cent’s move from music to film is less than successful in my opinion and unless he learns a little bit more about the art of acting, my guess is there won’t be a sequel unless he pays for it himself. Jackson acts like he raps, slow and methodical, which isn’t completely a bad thing. The problem here is that this story needed a little bit more emotion from the main character than Curtis can provide. Get Rich or Die Tryin’ is 100% dependant on emotion and 50 always has the exact same look on his face no matter what is going on, which just didn’t work. You need to feel for this character and the choices in his life that lead him to the place he is today… I think a different actor could have told 50’s story better than he could because Jackson is not an actor. In short, this movie is ‘OK’ and worth a rent if you are a casual fan, or if you are a person that is just curious to find out what it took for 50 Cent to go from street thug to hip-hop mega star. This movie is heavy on the fiction but the supporting characters and actors make this movie passable, and it gets 3 solid stars for that alone.

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

November 14, 2005 | Leave a Comment

If you were old enough to remember the original or you have seen it on DVD recently this remake might leave you feeling kind of flat, like it did me. This Tim Burton release although 34 years younger than the original just didn’t do it for me. Johnny Depp was ‘good’, the rotten kids performances were practically clones of the original actors, and Charlie was humble enough but something was missing. I have thought about it for 2 days now and I just can’t seem to put my finger on it. The effects were better than top notch and the direction was masterful so it had to be the story - It just doesn’t work in today’s culture. We are too self absorbed and oblivious to other peoples problems, not that we don’t deserve to be but this remake is either 15 years too late or about 10 years too early, IMHO.

Plot time; Charlie Bucket (Highmore) is a poor kid that lives in a shack with his loser parents and his 4 worthless, bed-ridden grandparents somewhere in England. I call his parents losers because dad is so broke he can’t afford to buy his kid anything except a candy bar once a year, and Mom just sits at home making water soup all day… BIG LOSERS! All this kid wants is a house filled with love and an occasional sugar fix and his parents make him live in a shack with no roof, WTF??? Do you know a single kid that will relate to this character? If you do, don’t feel bad they won’t see the movie anyway… they live in a cave or mud hut and were not at all the target demographic so enjoy your lives without regret - I know I do. Lost my train again; Charlie hears rumor of the chocolate factory in town reopening for one day only, but the only way to get invited is to find one of 5 golden tickets that have been sent out by chocolateer Willy Wonka (Depp).

Of course the first 4 tickets go to undeserving brats with parents who worked hard, and made something of themselves and don’t make it a point to remind the rest of the world to feel sorry for them because they live in a shack! We of course are supposed to hate these children and their parents and root for ‘poor old’ Charlie and his wrinkled Grandpa. Do you see why we can’t relate to this story anymore? He gets the 5th ticket and goes on the tour, blah, blah, blah… etc, etc, etc.

Well I won’t bore you anymore with the heavy handed guilt associated with this movie; I will just remind you that if you liked the other one you were younger and had no understanding of certain core concepts; The biggest one of all is that you get what you earn, not what you deserve. And, if you do see this movie and feel sorry and wish you were Charlie, move out of your moms basement and get a job, have someone tell you to share what you worked so hard for then tell me how you feel. Bet it is a different conversation. Damn it lost my train again!

Nothing blew up, No one caught a bullet trying to disarm a nuclear weapon on an asteroid and I never once heard anyone say ‘I’ll Be Back’. So, in short it didn’t satisfy my blood lust Or, just plain old lust for that matter. I gave it 3 stars because I saw the kids liked it, Depp was more than a little creepy and Burton was awesome as usual but if I were a single guy with no kids I would avoid this movie like the plague. Go see something with breast’s in it, I promise you will smile more.

Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith

November 13, 2005 | Leave a Comment

Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith is one of the most anticipated movies of all time. But then hasn’t that been the case with every Star Wars movie released after the first one? However, due to this being the last of the series, and the film that completes the story and ties it all together, the fan base has been in a lather of record proportions.

Unfortunately, this has the side effect of the fans setting impossibly high expectations. In this case, we know how the story ends, we know where it is all leading. This makes it even easier for the fans to build up in their head how they think it should play out and how those long awaited confrontations should happen. At the same time, it makes it almost impossible for Lucas to spring any surprises.

But forget the fanboy stuff, let’s talk about how we liked it. First and foremost we absolutely loved the battles and fights. And there were plenty of them including some fights we’ve been waiting over 25 years to see. The special effects were jaw dropping, especially the huge space battle. Although this story was dark, R2D2 and Yoda give us a couple of occasions to chuckle.

And what about the story? We know how it turns out. But this is all about how Annakin Skywalker becomes Darth Vader, and perhaps more importantly why. Without spoiling it with the answer to that question, I will say Lucas went down a predictable path, but one which forever changes your view of Vader in Episode IV through Episode VI.

A couple of my own personal questions did remain unanswered though. First, what does it sound like when two wookies mate? Second, does Darth Vader use the toilet, and if so, can you imagine being in the stall next to him? I was also were really hoping Samuel L. Jackson would drop the “MF” bomb as Mace Windu, and we’re pretty sure it was on the tip of his tongue a couple of times, but it just was not to be.

But I can get past those. I can also get past a couple of stiff performances among the cast, a small slow spot in the middle of the movie, and any unfulfilled false expectations I may have had. This is one of those movies that makes me wish we allowed ourselves to cop out and use a half star in our ratings, but instead I’m gonna go ahead and give it 5 stars. It doesn’t pass all of my usual acid tests for that rare 5th star, but no matter how much anyone picks apart this movie, it is still an absolute must see. And furthermore it must be seen on the big screen.

War of the Worlds

November 13, 2005 | Leave a Comment

War of the Worlds brings Tom Cruise and Steven Spielberg together again for another summer blockbuster. This time they’ve revised and retold the H.G. Wells classic using state of the art special effects. And if the movie were 100 minutes long it would’ve probably received 5 stars from us, unfortunately it is 117 minutes long.

Let’s get right to it, you’re all wondering just how good the effects were. Words like “jaw dropping” come to mind for many of the scenes. And more importantly, Spielberg was really creative with the visuals and didn’t just rely on cool aliens, spacecrafts and battles.

The story is hopefully familiar to most. Aliens have come to earth, and they want to take over our planet. Their first order of business is exterminate all of the humans. This has been done before in movies like Independence Day. However this time, instead of just cheesy dialogue, the effects are accompanied by a strong performance from Cruise. And from the moment the alien craft start to appear, I cant remember a movie we’ve seen recently that rivals War of the Worlds in intensity.

So what’s wrong with it you ask? One is Dakota Fanning. Why oh why cant we have some smoking hottie instead of a 10 year old girl with a squeal that triggers the “smack” reflex in the base of our spines? Father daughter drama isn’t what we like mixed into our Sci-Fi. It’s like having “rum and pepsi”, it just isn’t right. The other problem is the end of the movie. No spoilers so I cant say much, and I’m not talking about the resolution of the story but rather the outcome for the major characters. The ending is one that will make most people go “oh, come on!”.

Thanks to the “wtf” ending, we’re giving War of the Worlds 3 stars. Yes, the ending was that bad. We left the theater ticked off about the ending rather than marveling at the effects and intensity level. If you’re a SciFi fan or just like seeing bigtime effects though, you’ll still wanna catch this one on the big screen. If you miss it, there’s little doubt that this is going to be a must-own DVD that will have the ability to really push your home theater system to it’s limits.

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