300

July 30, 2007

Rated: R Runtime: 117 min Rating: 5 out of 5 stars

Go see it. YES, it’s everything the trailers have built it up to be. YES, it’s my current odds-on favorite for movie of the year for 2007. YES, you must see this one on the big screen.

300 Every single frame of 300 is like a Boris Vallejo painting. Like Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow, 300 was shot entirely on a soundstage and all the background terrain and scenery is computer generated. And, damn!, these computers sure know how to paint! Every hill, every cloud, every stalk of wheat is idealized and the result is a very intoxicating visual experience.

The casting director, however, must have been on the verge of a nervous breakdown before all was said and done. The only thing asked of him seems to have been, “Every woman must have the body of a porn star, every guy must look like Mr. Universe, and no one can be afraid to show off their bodies…oh, and they still have to be able to act, too.” And as anyone who has ever watched a porn film can tell you, that latter requirement is always lacking. But not in this case. Gerard Butler and Lena Headey give fantastic performances as the iconic King Leonidas and Queen Gorgo of Sparta. Likewise, Rodrigo Santoro does well as the Persian God-King Xerxes. Most of the rest of the cast are character actors and newcomers, but they all do their parts well enough. And if I may put in a side note here, Kelly Craig plays the part of the Oracle and she is the hottest thing I’ve seen on screen in a LONG time. Kelly, if you’re reading this, how about dinner sometime? I promise I won’t leer…much.

It is established early on that if you’re from Sparta, you are a bad-ass. They don’t allow anyone else into their ranks and that includes the women. I daresay that if you send a 12 year old Spartan boy into a Crips hangout in south-central LA with instructions to kill all the gang-bangers, that’s just about an even money bet.

As we’ve seen from the trailers, the story is very straight-forward: 300 Spartans march to the sea to do battle with the million+ strong army of the Persian Empire. That’s it. It’s so simple that you can’t really spoil the movie for anyone. You could describe everything from beginning to end and it still wouldn’t matter. There are obviously no big twists and, historically speaking, we already know who wins the fight. But it’s this simplicity that allows the makers to indulge their artistic creativity in every scene. All that matters is the perfection of every frame – a perfection that not only stimulates your vision, but also that stirs you from within. By the time it was over, I was wanting to stand up and hurl a spear at the mighty Xerxes myself…but I opted instead to go eat a couple pounds of beef for dinner…raw (rare), bloody beef. It’s a good thing I didn’t bump into any Persians along the way.

Although this is a movie based on a historical battle, this is a pure fantasy of the highest order. And this is a GOOD thing even despite my normal loathing for movies that take liberties with historical fact. The difference here is that there is no pretense of accuracy. There is no feeling that the makers are hoping you don’t notice the difference. Instead we are delivered a pure testosterone choked orgy of violence and sex that just happens to use a historical setting.

All in all, this is the best movie I’ve seen since V for Vendetta and I will be going to see it on the big screen again…and again…and maybe again, too. Make plans for a couple viewings yourself!

Popularity: 41% [?]

Posted by Alex | Filed Under 5 Stars, Action, DVD, Gerard Butler, Lena Headey, R, Rodrigo Santoro