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movie review The Tuxedo
Rated: PG-13
Runtime: 1hr 36min
Starring: Jackie Chan, Jennifer Love Hewitt, Jason Isaacs, Ritchie Coster, Debi Mazar

MFG Rating: 2/5

The Tuxedo stars Jackie Chan playing a guy who does not know any martial arts. And it gets more screwed up and convoluted from there.

jackie chan in the tuxedoChan plays a cabbie-turned-chauffer named Jimmy Tong. Tong is a normal guy with a bit of a self esteem problem who finds himself working for a secret agent named Clark Devlin. When Devlin gets injured, Tong fills in for him. How does a "normal" guy fill in for a secret agent? Easy, he wears his tux. But this is no ordinary tux, it is high tech and gives the person wearing it skills ranging from Kung Fu Master to Master Booty Shaker.

Tong is paired up with a rookie female field agent, played by Jennifer Love Hewitt to chase down the arch villain. As with all good secret agent villains, he has a wild plan to take over the world. This guy is going to do it by tainting the world water supply so he can conquer the bottled water market. If the premise sounds ludicrous, it only gets worse as the details are filled in.

We have no problem suspending disbelief, overlooking plot holes you could drive a truck through and such as long as a movie is entertaining. Unfortunately, this one just does not click at all. Many of the bits come across as totally forced down our throats and end up being annoying. The movie was 96 minutes long and it felt more like a 2 hour 45minute Tom Hanks epic.

We love Jackie Chan, but this movie just doesn't work. There weren't even any really big stunts to begin to make up for the fact we're sitting in a bad movie. Even the outtakes at the end of the movie were mostly Jackie struggling with english instead of nearly killing himself. The movie gets 2 stars from us. Skip it at the theater for sure. If you're a big fan of Chan, it might be worth a rental.

- Billy Bob

 

Vital Stats
                   
Less
More

Gun Play
                   
A few guns, but mostly fists and feet.


Blood & Gore
                   
The villains whiny nasal girlfriend is almost good for a tick for gore.


Car Chases
                   
A skateboard versus a Mercedes? It's better than it sounds.


T&A
                   
Some good cleavage, but Jennifer Love Hewitt is otherwise wasted in this role.

Chuckles
                   
Typical Jackie Chan stuff.