 |
The
Tuxedo |
| Rated:
PG-13 |
| Runtime:
1hr 36min |
| Starring:
Jackie Chan, Jennifer Love Hewitt, Jason Isaacs, Ritchie Coster,
Debi Mazar |
|
MFG
Rating: 2/5
|
The
Tuxedo stars Jackie Chan playing a guy who does not know any martial
arts. And it gets more screwed up and convoluted from there.
Chan
plays a cabbie-turned-chauffer named Jimmy Tong. Tong is a normal
guy with a bit of a self esteem problem who finds himself working
for a secret agent named Clark Devlin. When Devlin gets injured,
Tong fills in for him. How does a "normal" guy fill in
for a secret agent? Easy, he wears his tux. But this is no ordinary
tux, it is high tech and gives the person wearing it skills ranging
from Kung Fu Master to Master Booty Shaker.
Tong
is paired up with a rookie female field agent, played by Jennifer
Love Hewitt to chase down the arch villain. As with all good secret
agent villains, he has a wild plan to take over the world. This
guy is going to do it by tainting the world water supply so he can
conquer the bottled water market. If the premise sounds ludicrous,
it only gets worse as the details are filled in.
We
have no problem suspending disbelief, overlooking plot holes you
could drive a truck through and such as long as a movie is entertaining.
Unfortunately, this one just does not click at all. Many of the
bits come across as totally forced down our throats and end up being
annoying. The movie was 96 minutes long and it felt more like a
2 hour 45minute Tom Hanks epic.
We
love Jackie Chan, but this movie just doesn't work. There weren't
even any really big stunts to begin to make up for the fact we're
sitting in a bad movie. Even the outtakes at the end of the movie
were mostly Jackie struggling with english instead of nearly killing
himself. The movie gets 2 stars from us. Skip it at the theater
for sure. If you're a big fan of Chan, it might be worth a rental.
-
Billy
Bob
|
Gun Play
A
few guns, but mostly fists and feet.
Blood & Gore
The
villains whiny nasal girlfriend is almost good for a tick for
gore.
Car Chases
A
skateboard versus a Mercedes? It's better than it sounds.
T&A
Some
good cleavage, but Jennifer Love Hewitt is otherwise wasted
in this role.
Chuckles
Typical
Jackie Chan stuff.
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