Amityville Horror

April 1, 2006

Rated: R Runtime: 90 min Rating: 3 out of 5 stars

In 1979 The Amityville Horror made its debut in theatres, forever burning the image of that creepy house in kids minds from coast to coast. Did I mention I was one of those kids? The creepiest thing about the original was the fact that it was billed as a true story… not just the Defeo family being murdered, but the whole demonic possession part as well, which to a kid is a little too much to bare. I still hate that stinking house today, so I was not looking forward to seeing this remake at all. Normally I refuse to see remakes because they pale in comparison, not this one. I was just as creeped out seeing this version as I was back in the 70’s when I was dragged to see the original because my mom was afraid to see it alone. This might help you the readers understand why I’m so jaded.

Amityville Horror On to the new one and enough about my mental state. The movie starts out with the murder of the Defeo family and the arrest of their 23 year old son for committing the crime. Ronald Defeo went room to room and shot his parents, 2 brothers and 2 sisters while they slept. He used a hunting rifle (very messy) and claimed later that he was commanded by a voice in his head to do it because his family had become demons. This happened in 1974 - Fast forward one year to 1975 where the newly married couple of George and Katherine Lutz purchase the house to begin a new life for themselves. It would seem the house was marked at what realtors would call a killer discount (I crack me up) and to purchase this house regardless of it’s history would be a dream come true for the new family.

Katherine has 3 kids from a previous marriage that George promises to love and protect as if they were his very own. You can laugh I did (see above). All goes well for about 6 hours and then the creepy kicks in. Clock radio’s playing that aren’t plugged in, the house is freezing even when you sit next to the furnace, and oh yeah A DEAD GIRL appears to be hanging from the light fixture while he and his lady are gettin’ it on. Little subtle details apparently because they don’t leave. The radio would have done it for me but not he Lutz’s, they need more proof. Their little girl Chelsea (sounds like a dogs name) makes friends with Jodi the youngest Defeo family member’s ghost, and the boys sleep in the same beds the brothers were killed in so you can see the house is very unhappy with it’s new guests. This goes on for about 28 more days and then the family gets the hint that they aren’t wanted. I personally wouldn’t have needed more than 2 hours. That sucker would have had another for sale sign out front, and I’d be outta there. I’m not chicken, I’m smart!

If you have seen the original you know the basic plot but the 2005 version goes a tad farther down creepy road by showing the murders and lots of close ups of the dead family, including the kids. So if you have issues with things like that, then stay away. If not give it a shot (more puns); just try not to watch it at 3:15 AM.

Coming from a long line of recent horror remakes that shouldn’t have been made, this one is equal to and in most cases superior to the original, so it’s worth the 90 minutes. Ryan Reynolds is funny as all hell in Blade Trinity but as George Lutz he is F’N great. Very strong acting from Reynolds and Melissa George has a perfect hiney… both of which are big positives here at MFG.

Posted by J.C. Edwards | Filed Under 3 Stars, DVD, Horror, Jesse James, Melissa George, Philip Baker Hall, R, Ryan Reynolds