Bite Me!

April 22, 2005

Rated: R Runtime: 88 min Rating: 5 out of 5 stars

If you’re looking for an intelligent film about mutant bugs from South America, this is not your movie. Go watch the National Geographic channel.

But if you’re seeking a B-movie that actually delivers what the box promises, then Bite Me! is the DVD you need to get!

The movie kicks off with a drug deal that goes somewhat bad. One car crash later, the movie quickly cuts to a very naked Misty Mundae, who is dancing onstage at the Go-Go-Saurus strip club. Money is getting tight for the owner, and he’s in danger of losing the club to his dead partner’s uptight widow (played by Julian Wells). He hopes the crate of marijuana that he just received will deliver him from his money woes.

He hides the crate of weed in the basement. But as it turns out, the weed is full of mutant spider bug who quickly infest the club. One of them bites the hot female bartender, and she becomes a lesbian sex-crazed maniac who tries to make out with the strippers. Julian Wells gets bitten by a bug, and she hits the catwalk and gets naked, much to the delight of the patrons. Then she makes out with the bartender.

But that’s all the lesbian sex you’ll get in this Shock-O-Rama release. The movie focuses more on the horror and comedy aspects of the story, and Bite Me! is a very fun ride. The spider bugs are stop-motion animation, which I thought was fun in small doses. But after awhile, I started to wish they were CGI. Hollywood has ruined me for low-budget effects.

There’s really not a whole lot more to say without giving the entire movie away. Bite Me! has something for everyone: strippers, mutant bugs, violence, strippers, blood, car wrecks, marijuana, strippers and lots and lots of laughs. This is a classic B-movie with all the fixins. Bite into it!

Posted by Chris Terranova | Filed Under 5 Stars, Action, Caitlin Ross, Comedy, DVD, Erika Smith, Horror, Julian Wells, Michael R. Thomas, Misty Mundae, R, SciFi