Where to start?  How about the end.  When the credits roll at the end of Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem, we see in big and bold stylized letters that it was directed by “The Brothers Strause”.  Obviously, they must be proud of their work.  I have no idea why, however.  The only things “The Brothers Strause” ever directed before being handed this project were music videos and short features…and BOY does it show.  They’ve produced nearly 90 minutes of pure amateur-hour cinema and cleverly managed to get a lot of people to shell out $10 each to see it.

The Strause boys *do* have a lot of experience with visual effects, however, and that aspect of AVP:R is at least reasonably tolerable.  There won’t be any Oscars coming their way, but the effects could certainly have been worse.  No, the problem lies elsewhere.  Make that EVERYwhere else.  I don’t think I’m exaggerating much when I say that you can find almost every old sci-fi / action / horror cliche’ here.  But it doesn’t stop there.  Apparently the Strause boys figured that cliche’s just weren’t good enough…so they decided to mix things up by making sure that several characters got killed unexpectedly.  No part of the story was advanced by these killings, mind you, they were just random deaths.  Oh, and lets not forget all the logic holes that you could drive a truck through.  I can check my brain at the door like anyone else, but I do at least ask that you don’t insult my intelligence every five minutes.

No, this is not a rejuvenation of an old franchise.  It’s not a pleasant stroll down memory lane.  Hell, it’s not even a decent way to spend 86 minutes of your life.  It’s just simply 2 very weak star movie…and nothing more.