The storyline is 4 guys hit a bit of a middle aged crisis and decide to take a road trip on their motorcycles. Being much more comfortable in suburbia than crapping in the woods immediately sets up a lot of humorous scenes. And predictably they soon find themselves in a world of trouble. This is where traditionally “hilarity ensues”.

Here’s the problem with the movie though. I think it’s pretty clear that they want this to be a comedy that appeals to everyone. And yes, there’s some good lines in there. There’s also some physical comedy to make the kiddies giggle. If you like seeing grown men fall off of motorcycles, Wild Hogs is your hook up! But they also opted at multiple points during the movie to put some gay humor in it. Now it’s harmless stuff, I dont think it’ll offend any homosexuals, and it certainly shouldn’t induce homophobia in anyone. But it does make the movie a little uncomfortable to watch with Grandma or Aunt Bertha. Talladega Nights had the exact same problem, though to a much lesser extent.

We give Wild Hogs a strong 3 stars. It’s definitely worth watching, and if you need a date movie anytime soon we can recommend it, but otherwise it can wait for DVD. This is one of those movies that if it were released in June it would be remembered as a bomb. By releasing it in March when there’s little competition, it should do quite well.

Nick Naylor (Aaron Eckhart) is the lead lobbyist for Big Tobacco and he loves his job. Born to argue, Nick is at his best when asked to defend the losing side of an argument and considering his job, he gets to do that a lot. For example, on a daytime talk show with himself, a teenager dying from cancer (who used to smoke), and a couple of other people from anti-smoking groups he manages to make the point that the anti-smokers would rather the teenager die so that he can be a statistic to be used against the tobacco companies, while Big Tobacco would rather keep a customer alive.

When a Senator introduces a bill to put a skull & crossbones graphic on each pack of cigarettes, it’s time for Nick to get to work. First up, he heads to Hollywood to make a deal for a few “good guy” characters to smoke on screen since recently it seems only the bad guys are lighting up their Camels. Next, it’s time to shut up the Marlboro Man who has recently been hitting the talk show circuit talking trash about tobacco since he’s dying of lung cancer.

In the midst of dealing with these issues, Nick is also trying to be a role model to his 12-yr old son. No, he doesn’t want him to smoke but he does want him to think critically about what he’s told. That’s the real message in this movie, to think about what you hear everyday and make your own decisions instead of just trusting *anyone* to always tell you the truth.

This is a very wordy movie, very wordy indeed. No explosions, no car chases, no T&A, but a lot of smart dialogue. Keep that in mind if you watch it.. if you’re a bit tired and cranking this puppy up at midnight, you might wake up with drool all over the leather. Head in with a clear head (or at least some coffee) and I think you’ll enjoy it.

On a side note, watching the deleted scenes will demonstrate how powerful the editor of a movie is. Had they left some of the later scenes as originally filmed I would have dropped at least 2 stars from the rating. As it is, it earns 4 stars for entertaining me, surprising me, and being much smarter than I expected.

The unlikely plot here is a couple of ex-Navy SEALS who now do underwater salvage are led to the Sahara desert to look for a lost Civil War ironclad. Yeah, you read that right, civil war, ironclad, sahara desert. Stay with me here. Our hero is Matthew McConaughey, who I hate reviewing because I keep having to double check how to spell his last name. But I digress. To make a proper adventure movie pudding, we also need a sidekick, Steve Zahn gets the call here. Zahn is one of those guys who has a knack for playing characters you’d like to smack.

Along the way they meet up with the obligatory damsel in distress, another key ingredient of our adventure pudding. Our damsel is played by the lovely Penelope Cruz, who unfortunately stays very clothed, though they do throw us a bone with one bikini scene. Cruz’s character is tracking a plague in the same area when our boys rescue her.

Ok, got that? We have a convoluted plot, a hero, sidekick and damsel in distress. What else do we need? Well, all we need to do is add some guns, explosions, fights and some villains to use them on. Then we stir and serve it up. And serve it up they do.

Sahara gets 3 stars from us, though it was only a couple of bare breasts or chuckles away from that 4th star. Yes, it’s a bit disjointed, formulamatic and totally predictable. But it is exactly what it advertises itself to be and a fun way to spend a couple of hours.

Jurassic Park III isn’t anywhere near as good a movie as the original Jurassic Park and it certainly won’t win any awards, but it’s really not that bad of a movie when you come at it from the right perspective. At barely over 90 minutes in length this is an action movie that doesn’t take many breathers and as such doesn’t give you much time to think about how ridiculous the storyline actually is.

Dr. Grant (Sam Neill) is convinced to accompany the Kirby’s (Willam Macy and Tea Leoni) to Site B on a low flying tour. Unfortunately, they land. Turns out the tour was just a rouse to get Dr. Grant to help them find their missing son. OK, at this point you really need to run off your brain to enjoy the movie. Can you imagine a 14-yr old kid surviving alone on an island full of Raptors? OK, perhaps, assuming he stayed locked up in a building somewhere with a fully stocked snack machine. But that’s not the case, apparently he explored most of the island and actually collected some T-Rex urnine to scare off the smaller dinos. Yeah, right.

Plausibilty aside (and keep in mind this is a movie with live dinosaurs in it) the story moves along at a pretty good pace, and the dinos look fantastic as usual. Keep the reality-o-meter turned off and just enjoy the ride.