Constantine

July 18, 2005

Rated: R Runtime: 121 min Rating: 4 out of 5 stars

I read a few issues of Hellblazer back in the day so when I heard they were making a movie on the DC/Vertigo title I got really excited. Then I heard they were going to cast an American to play John Constantine (Reeves). What? Now, I am JUST kind of excited. Next I find out Keanu Reeves has been cast to play him. WTF? Now I am annoyed and fear the release of this POS.

Constantine Those were my thoughts just one short year ago. Today, I admit I was ’sort of’ wrong. The story was kick butt, the effects were freaking awesome and, Keanu was Keanu so 2 out of 3 ain’t too bad.

John Constantine is a kind of supernatural mage turned hitman for demons and other nasties from the underworld… When John was a boy he had visions of things that go bump in the night and to make sure he never saw them again, he committed the ultimate sin, the one you can’t ask for forgiveness once you’ve done it. He offs himself and was dead for 2 full minutes, where he promptly got his rump fedexed straight to hell. Things look bleak for old Johnny until, the paramedics snatch him from deaths grasp and eternal burning torment, when they bring him back to life. That is all well and good for the ‘current’ life, but not for eternity. He already did the unforgivable deed so no matter what he does he is going back down south when he shuffles off this mortal coil. That has to suck.

Anywhoo, in an attempt to regain his soul and avoid his permanent tropical vacation, he slays demons. He figures if he slays enough of them, God will let him into heaven and forget that little mishap when he was a kid. Comic Books rule! That is the premise of the character John Constantine and the movie’s story portrays it, and him pretty well, with the exception that the character himself is British and Keanu only plays one role. “Vaya Con Dios, Brah”

Detective Angela Dodson (Weisz) is trying to find the people responsible for the death of her sister Isabella Dodson (Weisz) and she turns to Constantine for help. Meanwhile, south of the border, some hobo finds the spear of destiny (read the bible if you need to know what it is) and is bringing it back to HelL.A. to give to the demon Balthazar (Rossdale). More happens but you need to see the movie if you want to know what you are missing.

I saw it in a theatre full of folks and the audience seemed to really dig on it so I know you will too. If you like God fobid, Keanu’s acting or you just want to see a really cool dark fantasy, Constantine is your cup of java. Just try not to spend too much time trying to figure out if Gabriel is a chick, and the movie will take you on a cool ride for two hours.

Posted by J.C. Edwards | Filed Under 4 Stars, Action, DVD, Gavin Rossdale, Horror, Keanu Reeves, R, Rachel Weisz, SciFi