Dungeons & Dragons

December 10, 2004

Rated: PG-13 Runtime: 105 min Rating: 2 out of 5 stars

It would be fun to meet the person(s) responsible for putting up the $35 million budget for this film. I would spend at least 15 minutes pointing, laughing, and verbally teasing them. Consider this: how big do your nads have to be and/or how small does your brain have to be to give that much money to Courtney Solomon, a first time producer & director, who wants to make a movie in the traditionally “iffy” Fantasy genre with a screenplay created by a first-time writer?

Dungeons & Dragons

I feared that this movie would simply be an exercise in the blind leading the blind down a rough road and, unfortunately, I was correct. The sometimes imaginative sets and ambitious CGI simply cannot make up for the extremely amateurish dialogue and direction of this movie. Looking back over my notes, I see where I wrote “This is a film student’s multi-million dollar final project” which, I believe, sums this up quite nicely.

The movie gives us two would-be thieves: Ridley (Justin Whalin, most notably known as Jimmy Olsen from “Lois & Clark”) and his pal-for-life Snails (Marlon Wayans; yes, another one of those Wayans brothers) who, with the aid of the usual ragtag band of misfits (an apprentice mage, a dwarf, and an elven tracker), set out to save the kingdom of Izmer from the evil mage, Profion (played by a slumming Jeremy Irons) who, by manipulating the all-powerful mage’s council, is scheming to overthrow the Empress Savina (Thora Birch).

Profion learns of the heroic quest and sends his capable lieutenant Damodar (Bruce Payne) after them. What follows is a series of adventures/mishaps filled with well-worn cliche’s and punctuated with lackluster action, humorless slapstick, and predictable stereotypes. The ending isn’t hard to guess either.

This one can definitely wait for DVD and don’t be too heartbroken if you skip it even then.

Posted by Alex | Filed Under 2 Stars, Action, Jeremy Irons, Justin Whalin, Marlon Wayans, PG-13, SciFi, Theatrical, Zoe McLellan