Elektra

June 16, 2005

Rated: PG-13 Runtime: 96 min Rating: 4 out of 5 stars

Some ill-informed critics are calling Elektra a sequel to a box office flop that should have never been made. Well, the staff here at MFG, and of course yours truly, would like to do what we do best and shoot those guys in the arse with a dose of testosterone; that way they can see Elektra for what it really is… Jennifer Garner jumping around in a skin tight costume for 96 minutes, PERIOD.

Elektra Elektra is not a sequel, Elektra is a spin-off. Critics that call it a sequel (cinematic work whose narrative continues that of a preexisting work), not a spin-off (derived from an earlier work, such as a movie or TV show starring a character who had a popular minor role) should first check the definition and then re-examine their interpretation of both words and try again. Rant over, review is coming.

Elektra is a SPIN-OFF to the none too successful 2003 film Daredevil starring Ben “My star is falling faster than Delta airline stock” Affleck, Jennifer (hot should be spelled DAMN)Garner and Colin (no witty nickname)Farrell; where at the end Bullseye kills Elektra leaving Daredevil alone in NYC… Alone means no need for a sequel, thus the spin-off.

In this hot chick action flick, Elektra is no longer an innocent victim that saw both of her parents brutally murdered before her eyes. Now, she is a hired assassin that will kill anyone for enough scratch. She even kills Lucious Malfoy at the beginning in a pretty cool opening sequence. Gunplay and shiny leather, what a combo. She finishes the job, then heads to the country to await her next mark. A couple of days pass and during that time we get to see Jen workout and swim around a lot which means, she gets wet, and her clothes stick to her so we can see her assets… Yes, Yes it is good to be male when Jennifer Garner gets sweaty.

The new contract comes in and it is for the only other people on the island it seems, Mark (Visnjic) and Abbey Miller. Of course by this time she has befriended them both and instead of doing the job and moving on, like any other broody assassin type with a change of heart, she protects them instead. This turns out to be a very bad idea because the people that sent her now send Elektra’s arch enemies “The Hand” to finish the job. The Hand, is a group of assasins led by Kirigi (Yun-Lee) and his band of freaks. Tattoo; a guy with animal tattoos that come to life. Stone; a huge mountain of a guy that has skin like, you guessed it. Kinkou; the monkey fighting man and last but good-god not least, Typhoid. Typhoid has the ability to turn living matter rancid with just her touch, but as fine as she is she can kill whatever she wants. who needs plant life anyway. Very cool comic book characters doing mystical, freaky stuff made this a very cool movie but if I go into the plot too much it will spoil the twist so that’s that.

Jennifer Garner is the epitome of HOT in the modern Hollywood era. She is fine as frog hair, built like a brick house and a decent actress to boot, all of which makes her stand out from the rest of the wooden stick figures in other movies. I hope this is not the last time we see her in tight leather on the big screen for it would truly be a tragedy if it were. But, if it is, at least we still have Alias.

Posted by J.C. Edwards | Filed Under 4 Stars, Action, DVD, Goran Visnjic, Jennifer Garner, PG-13, Terrence Stamp, Will Yun-Lee