Hitman

November 26, 2007

Rated: R Runtime: 93 min Rating: 4 out of 5 stars

Hitman is the movie adaptation of the popular video game of the same name. Yeah, we groan and roll our eyes when we see yet another video game being made into a movie as well. We automatically set our expectations very low at some sort of subconscious level. Hollywood tends to depend on the title to draw enough people to the theater and DVD sales to make a quick profit. So is Hitman any different? We won’t be hearing much about it on Oscar night, but it is a fun way to spend 90 minutes if you like video game violence.

Timothy Olyphant and Olga Kurylenko in Hitman

As you’d expect the plot is merely a mechanism to set up the action. Timothy Olyphant stars as Agent 47. That’s his name. You see, these agents are selected as children by a group known only as “The Organization”, which trains and supplies assassin services to anyone who needs it. They are on no one’s side. The agents are trained to do one thing and do it well, and that is kill. And Agent 47 is the best.

But wouldn’t you know it, in typical video game fashion, things get all turned around and the hunter becomes the hunted. Agent 47 gets mad, and instead of just using some of our favorite cuss words from Deadwood, Olyphant lets bodies start hitting the floor. Oh, and to make things a bit more complicated, along the way he meets a girl played by Olga Kurylenko. And we’d like to express our thanks during this Thanksgiving release for the R-rating as we get to see Olga naked. We also find out that the going rate for buying enslaved Russian women in the sex trade is apparently $300 US. If they all look like this, we’ll take two.

As for the action, we get lots and lots of gun play, some brief hand to hand and even a little bit of sword play. It lacked the imagination and style of something like The Transporter, but the action was pretty much non-stop. And Agent 47’s cool calm attitude makes for some real dead pan humorous moments. The movie was also like a long Audi commercial, but we didn’t really get any car chase action at all. This would be one of our largest gripes. Don’t tease us with sweet rides and then just ride around in them.

Check your brain at the door. If you start thinking about things like how come it is so hard to track down a bunch of bald guys with bar codes tattoo’d on the back of their heads who refuse to wear disguises, you’ll just drive yourself nuts. Instead, sit back, relax and watch the brain and arterial matter explode onto their nice suits. We give Hitman 4 stars. It delivers exactly what it promises.

Popularity: 64% [?]

Posted by Billy Bob | Filed Under 4 Stars, Action, Dougray Scott, Olga Kurylenko, R, Robert Knepper, Theatrical, Timothy Olyphant, Ulrich Thomsen