of 1000 Corpses
Rainn Wilson, Chris Hardwick, Jennifer Jostyn, Erin Daniels,
love Rob Zombie, so although we were extremely skeptical about House
of 1000 Corpses, we figured the worst case scenario is we get a
90 minute long music video. We really underestimated how much this
movie could suck. It ranks among the worst we've ever seen. And
the only Zombie tunes are during the opening and closing credits,
so we cant even pretend it's just a really long music video.
plot is four 27 year old teenagers are out on a road trip and end
up getting interested in a local legend and mystery. Soon they set
out to find the resting spot of Dr. Satan. Pretty soon they find
themselves in a world of hurt. A campy predictable plot with annoying
characters is normal for the genre. Set in the late 70's, the movie
would appear to be attempting to pay homage to classics such as
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre.
cast has a couple of familiar faces. No real stars though, but rather
the type of people that'll make you wonder what you've seen them
in previously. There are some babes, including Zombie's own main
squeeze. Unfortunately due to poor cinematography and wardrobe decisions
our peeks at the flesh are mostly glimpses.
of 1000 Corpses is so bad that it would be impossible to even begin
to list all of the problems or truly quantify just how badly this
movie sucks. We like Rob Zombie. We like horror. We HATE this movie.
I dont know what kind of fat daddy old Rob was smoking when he put
this together, but I do not want any of it! It looks like a 12 year
old filmed it and discovered the special effects button on the video
camera. No, scratch that, that's an insult to 12 year olds.
were hoping we would at least see what amounted to a really long
Zombie music video. It does have that music video look and feel,
but unfortunately there's no music. What's up with that? Rob Zombie
fans will expect to rock, and there's no music during the movie.
I'm not sure it would've helped, but it sure couldn't have made
it any worse. House of 1000 Corpses gets 1 star, don't waste your
time even if you're a fan.
guns, but blades are preferred here as they make a bigger mess.
is a favorite past time with these guys.
Blood & Gore
sort of, but they really don't get very far at all.
of the boobies are either mutilated by the storyline or the
Spaulding is funny, and there are some great t-shirts in the