Resident Evil: Apocolypse
	Rated R
	Runtime: 1hr 40min
	Starring: Milla Jovovich, Sienna Guillory, Mike Epps, Oded Fehr, Jared Harris
	MFG Rating: 2/5

Our review of the first Resident Evil movie by far received the most negative feedback of anything we've written on the site. The box office and DVD sales numbers back up our assessment that the movie sucks, but the movie does apparently have a small vocal following. We just wish when they email us they wouldn't use the word "dude" at the beginning and end of every sentence.

We've been awaiting this sequel with the same level of antcipation we normally reserve for root canals and colonoscopies. And unfortunately the sequel lived down to all of our expectations. In fact, it was so bad and so unoriginal that we could've literally cut and paste large parts of our review of the first film into this review.

Resident Evil: Apocolypse tries to pick up right where the original movie left off. The story telling is so disjointed though you might not figure that out til 15 minutes into the movie. The evil mega-conglomerate Umbrella Corporation cant resist re-opening the hive and now the virus is loose in Raccoon City and zombies are running everywhere. Milla Jovovich is back as Alice, and she's been "enhanced". We have a scattering of other characters who are never really introduced or built up including another hottie named Jill Valentine played by Sienna Guillory. She too is supposedly a survivor of The Hive, but we dont remember her even being in the first movie. But stop right here! If you start trying to apply logic to this movie, you're asking for a headache. Just leave it at the door and watch 'em shoot zombies as the director intended.

And here's the problem. We dont mind a mindless movie. We like horror, and we like zombie movies. We're very content to see how many creative and gruesome ways a movie can come up with to kill a zombie. We also like humor. And we like suspense that will make our dates snuggle up close under our arms and then jump and nearly pee themselves. We do NOT like it when they actually do pee themselves, but if you do, email me, I have some websites for you to visit. But I digress, the real point here is this movie has none of the above. The storyline is disjointed, we don't care about any of the characters, and there's no real creativity in killing of the zombies, it's mostly just simple pistol fire. The movie really does jump around like waves of a video game.

If you liked the first one, heck, go see this one, you'll probably like it too. For those of us who have moved out of our mom's basement, I recommend waiting for DVD at best. We give this thing 2 stars. And we have bad news, they left it wide open for another sequel.

- Billy Bob