Hostel

April 30, 2006

Rated: R Runtime: 95 min Rating: 4 out of 5 stars

Hostel is a throwback to good old fashioned film making, horror movie style! Forget about computer generated blood, this one uses props when they want to remove an appendage.

Hostel The plot is straightforward. Josh and Paxton are a couple of American college kids taking a backpacking trip through Europe. Along with an Icelander named Oli that they met during their travels they are finishing up their trip in Amsterdam and are looking for a few more hot babes to hang out with. After getting locked out of their hostel a local dude lets them crash at his place for the evening, and upon learning that they really just want some Euro-tail he tells them how to get to a town in Slovakia which is famous for hot and easy girls.

Did I mention the HOT GIRLS? I saw more boobs in the first 30 minutes of this movie than I did at the movies all last year. We’re not talking flabby ones either, these are the perkiest that money can buy.

Anyway, back to the story. The boys find the hostel and are pleased to find it’s every bit as lovely as they’d been told. Heck, their roommates are a couple of fine babes… how could they not score? I’ll go ahead and remove the suspense.. they get laid. Duh!

After the first night Josh and Paxton are a bit worried though as Oli sends them a message via SMS that he’s going home. Oli is a party animal though and Josh with his keen American detective skills (no doubt honed from hours watching Magnum PI and Miami Vice) doesn’t quite believe he left. But there are hot babes to keep him distracted and you know Americans love hot babes.

Turns out that in a country torn by poverty and war, you can get anything you want if you’re willing to pay the price… anything. Mail-order brides? Eh, that’s for wimps. But if you’d like to take a hatchet to a mail-order bride then this little town can hook you up!

Hostel is exceptionally violent, but even so they obviously held back with the gore a bit to keep the R rating. That’s not to say it’s not gory as hell, it earns every bit of the full rating on our Blood/Gore scale, I just think there’s more to be seen on the future DVD release. Another thing unusual, I never found myself flinching when something violent would happen and I’m not sure why. I know I’m not that jaded (I still can’t watch the hammer scene in Old Boy), there was just something about Hostel that made me a bit too detached to care what happened to the characters. Maybe I just needed more popcorn.

This is NOT a date movie unless you have the VERY rare girlfriend that doesn’t mind copious amounts of nudity, blood, and some vicious torture scene. Most women would walk out of this movie and you wouldn’t be getting any for a month. If that happens though, I know of this hostel you can visit…

Popularity: 22% [?]

Posted by John | Filed Under 4 Stars, Barbara Nedeljáková, DVD, Derek Richardson, Eythor Gudjonsson, Horror, Jan Vlasák, Jay Hernandez, R