Poseidon

August 17, 2006

Rated: PG-13 Runtime: 99 min Rating: 2 out of 5 stars

Disaster films are all about nature reminding man just how small we are, and just how quickly we can be snuffed out by a force greater than we can ever hope to comprehend, and that is it! You don’t need the smarmy lounge lizard, or the jealous millionaire, or the evil storm chasers (so F’N stupid) to get emotional responses from your audience. You need good acting, a solid story, and great dialogue and if those pieces are well represented you will have a good movie. Period! So the question I had before seeing this 2006 offering of a classic genre was will it entertain me? Answer: Not really.

Poseidon is a juiced up special effects mess of a movie based on the 1972 “classic” The Poseidon Adventure. The original was all about the character’s and their approach to escaping a ship that has capsized by going up (down if you were upright) to the top (bottom) with a few special effects mishaps along the way, with a very strong emphasis on story telling and character development. The 2006 Poseidon has the same plot but has none of the character development and story telling and relies solely on the effects to tell the story. Not a good thing folks. Effects should enhance a story not dominate it!

The cast is made up of a former Navy Submariner (Lucas), a fireman that becomes the Mayor of NY turned billionaire (Russell), his daughter (Rossum) and future son in-law, a single mom (Barrett) and her son, a stowaway and a suicidal homosexual (Dreyfuss). Wow, what a mix of casting. Too bad the only time you see any actual character development occurs during the heroic moment of each survivor. I am all for each person contributing but the way this movie unfolds you will have to fight rolling your eyes every time they enter another section of the ship. Don’t think you will be the only one; I rolled mine so much I still feel cross eyed!

The movie as a whole sucks and if it hadn’t been for the quality of the effects, which are quite good, it would have sank just like Dark Water (arrrghhh!). The scene where the ship capsizes is cool but way too short. The original let the BIG moment build; this one shoves it down your throat and you don’t even get a chance to take it all in before it’s over. This movie is a prime example of less would have been more. Less blocked exits that our hero has to negotiate, and more story would have helped out but that just isn’t Petersen’s style anymore - I have no idea how that is considering he’s the man that brought us Das Boot but I digress, it is what it is.

2 in a row Warner Brothers (cough, cough -Troy- cough, cough) so you might strongly reconsider giving Wolfgang anymore of your cash until he actually turns a profit. 185 Mill for Troy and 140 Mill for this… ouch. I smell something stinky and it isn’t on my shoe.

Posted by J.C. Edwards | Filed Under 2 Stars, Action, DVD, Emmy Rossum, Jacinda Barrett, Josh Lucas, Kurt Russell, PG-13, Richard Dreyfuss