Razorteeth

May 30, 2005

Rated: NR Runtime: 73 min Rating: 4 out of 5 stars

Razorteeth is a brand new piranha movie that’s been released just in time for the summer season. People pull out the old swimming trunks from the bottom of their closets and head down to their local beach, lake or public pool. They don’t see a shark fin circling so they think it’s safe to swim. Then all of a sudden… PIRANHA ATTACK!!

Razorteeth The filmmakers went with an X-Files/Government Conspiracy angle, and I thought it worked pretty well. At a top secret location outside the country, the U.S. government has created a Super-Piranha. While transporting some specimens of this Super-Piranha, the plane goes down in a small lake resort community. The specimens get loose in the lake, and after that happens you can kiss your appy vacation goodbye.

What makes these piranha so Super, you ask? After all, standard piranhas are pretty incredible little flesh-eaters all by themselves. But the standard piranha doesn’t swim across a huge lake at lightening speed. The standard piranha doesn’t fly out of the water and attack a human on land holding a stick of dynamite. And most importantly, the standard piranha never wins a game of tug-of-war with a pick-up truck. A Super-Piranha, however, has none of these limitations.

The main story is about an up-and-coming government agent who gets sent to retrieve the specimens and kill anyone who learns about the Super-Piranha. But that story wasn’t nearly as fun as the unrelated scenes with Super-Piranha feasting on unknowing swimmers. Fortunately, there are many scenes like this, the funniest being the one where some Super-Piranha secretly chase a fisherman to his outhouse. Hilarity ensues when he sits down for his afternoon constitutional.

Overall, this movie was a lot of fun. In fact, Razorteeth would have been a perfect five stars if there had been some decent T&A. Hopefully the filmmakers learned their lesson and will correct that deficiency in the future. The ending was left wide open for a sequel, so hopefully the Razorteeth saga will continue.

Posted by Chris Terranova | Filed Under 4 Stars, Action, Brice Kennedy, Comedy, DVD, Dave Fife, Horror, Ken Van Sant, NR, Stevan Anselmi, Steve Torpy