SPOILERific Thoughts on PREDATORS
July 23, 2010
Now that Predators has been in theaters for two weeks…
Warning, here be spoilers. Although I try to keep a few things mysterious. Still, avert your eyes if you wish to remain pure and untainted and unspoiled.
No kidding. Really. Spoilers. SPOILERS. Like that sign says in the dark forest on the way to the Wicked Witch’s castle in The Wizard of Oz, [I'D TURN BACK IF I WERE YOU!]!
I enjoyed Predators quite a bit (here’s the MFG review), but, it’s still fun to nitpick at the details, if only because our glimpses of Predator society are so brief and enigmatic that they invite speculation.
* I have to wonder about the Predator selection process, for finding these Earthlings that make particularly good prey. Particularly in one instance, which I can’t discuss without too many spoilers. Seems like some Predator must spend a lot of time in treetops on battlefields (and in more urban environments) invisible to pick out the prey with the potential to be asskickers. Are our Predator-hunters the ones who abducted them, or are there other Predators running this as a business, like, they offer Wild Safari Weekend for Accountant Predators? Which, if so, might explain why, ultimately, this batch of Predators really isn’t quite as good at hunting as they might think they are.
* Throwing your prey out of the spaceship from a great height over a jungle is great fun, but is it really cost-effective? Like the one who died on impact when his PredaChute (TM) didn’t open. Some Predator who spent all that time invisible spying on the Russian Mafia to get their enforcer (or whatever) must feel, well, that was time wasted. Similarly, although in this instance our protagonists came out relatively unscathed from their encounter with the alien-hunting-dogs, I can picture other expeditions that, despite the rough tough human killers, they were reduced in seconds to kibbles and bits. I picture the Predators dejectedly sitting around their campfire when that happens, moaning, “That was the worst hunt ever! The dogs killed everybody, I didn’t get to use my zap gun or any of these fancy springing-spinning blades! I wonder if I can take all this stuff back to Galactic Bass Pro Shop!”
* What were those things in the boxes? We see the one dead one…which looks a tiny bit like a Giger alien, but not enough for it to really be one. Are they other sentient aliens, abducted from their own planet the way the humans were, or are these just animals, for example, just Predator Homeworld Grizzly-bears? Is the purpose of releasing them to make it more interesting for the Predators, something else for them to shoot at in the bushes, or to give the humans more to worry about? And again, if the latter, what if those monsters succeed in making mincemeat out of the humans, it means a pretty sucky hunt for the Predators.
* I understand the closing shot, with even more boxes parachuting in (I’d have to view it freeze-framed on DVD to see if there are also more humans being dropped in), to end on a dramatic note, but it seems a little too soon….. like this jungle is Grand Central Station for Predator hunts. I mean, if Morpheus has been hanging out in the abandoned mining ship undetected, visitors (human, Predator, and otherwise) can’t be all THAT frequent.
Or is the Predator Game-Warden just being a dick; noticing that the humans wiped out that batch of Predators, and so sending in some more alien-grizzly-bears to finish ‘em off?
* The depiction of two Predator clans that are enemies, or whatever, is interesting. But again, assuming this is, sort of a weekend warrior hunt, why did they pick that weekend to both hunt humans and clash with this other rival group of Predators? Was it like golfers finding that the foursome playing the hole ahead of theirs is really slow and so holding them up? Were they rival fraternities in college? I mean, they’ve skinned at least one of ‘em, and are torturing the other. Was it just because this group of Predators had paid to be hunting on this 100-square mile patch of hunting preserve, and these other guys showed up, drinking beer and hollering?
For the record, there’s a 4-part prequel to the film from Dark Horse comics:
June 9, June 16, June 23, June 30.
Also, a sequel comic book to the film, apparently a one-shot. July 14.
And this coming July 27, apparently a graphic novel adaptation of the film for $6.99.
Then November 16, for $13.59, what looks like a collection of all of the above, the 4-issue prequel, the film adaptation, and the one-shot sequel.
There doesn’t seem to be a novelization of the film. I guess Alan Dean Foster was taking the summer off.
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From collegehumor.com: Predator’s Teenage Son!