The Brothers Grimm

February 12, 2006

Rated: PG-13 Runtime: 118 min Rating: 3 out of 5 stars

Once upon a time on a hobby store shelf I spotted a little dice game named “Cosmic Wimpout”. I didn’t buy the game, but the title was amusing enough that I never forgot about it. And if I had to describe this movie in two words, those would be the words: cosmic wimpout.

The fairy tales of the Brothers Grimm were some of my favorite things to read when I was growing up. So much so that everyone that I was sure to grow up to be a very twisted adult. Ok, so maybe I am twisted, but that doesn’t mean that the stories weren’t good. They were *very* good, in fact. And they were so very, very depressing, bloody, and tragic. How could you not love that!?

Terry Gilliam (Brazil, Twelve Monkeys, Time Bandits) was at the helm of the movie and, I thought, this was a good thing. I expected his usual flair for divinely inspired absurdity as well as visuals that would stun me into a semi-catatonic state. Unfortunately, this was not to be.

What I suspected at the time and have since somewhat confirmed is that Gilliam was on a short leash. Not all that surprising given his past predilections toward blowing the budget out of the roof and, as well, making movies that the studios deemed “viewer unfriendly”. He was guilty on both accounts, but he was only ever trying to be faithful to his original ideas and concepts. He is a brilliant man and I can appreciate the level of commitment he has towards his ideas, but the studios apparently cannot.

The end result is a “kinder, gentler” Brothers Grimm. If you’ve seen the previews, you know that the Brothers Grimm are a couple of charlatans that move from town to town, create fake monsters based on local legends and then demand a huge reward for going out and “killing” the monsters. It’s a good gig and pays handsomely…until they get caught, that is. The movie takes place in French occupied Germany around the year 1800 and the frogs are none to thrilled with the Brothers Grimm and their antics. They are caught and given a choice: execution OR they can go to a nearby town that is also being plagued by similar charlatans and expose them for what they are. Care to guess which option they chose?

As the preview leads you to believe, things aren’t as they seem and the legends of the area seem to be just a little TOO real. Are the monsters and ghosts real? Or are they very elaborate fakes that get exposed in the end by these meddling kids? I won’t tell. Not even for *two* scooby snacks.

What I will tell you is that you aren’t likely to care one way or another. The performances are adequate, but not exceptional. Ledger gets the nod from me for best performance of the bunch. The cinematography is adequate; inspired in some places, hum-drum in others. And no self-respecting kid over the age of 8 will be scared in the least. How telling is it that the goriest thing in a Brothers Grimm movie is a scene where the heroine skins a rabbit?

The studio stink is all over this one and the commandments were laid down: “Thou shalt not make a movie that contains truly scary and horrific fairy tales. Thou shalt make it nearly bloodless and it shall end with everyone living happily ever after. Thou shalt also make it funny; much funnier than the material would otherwise be so as to ensure the audience never gets too tense.” What a crock.

My rant aside, the movie is actually watchable. The humor, though misplaced, keeps you from getting too bored with it. If you and your family are looking for some fairly mindless pablum to spoon into your minds, this will fit the bill nicely. Just don’t expect the true spirit of the original Brothers Grimm.

Posted by Alex | Filed Under 3 Stars, Action, DVD, Heath Ledger, Horror, Lena Headey, Matt Damon, PG-13