The Fog

October 14, 2005

Rated: PG-13 Runtime: 100 min Rating: 2 out of 5 stars

A guy walks into a Spencer Gifts one Saturday afternoon, buys a fog machine and thinks to himself “I bet I could make a movie with this thing!” Really there’s no other explanation for this movie, so I’m sticking with this story.

The Fog It’s a dark and foggy night, 4 men are rowing a small boat in the ocean when one of them spots something in the water. He looks closer… and closer… and BAM! A hand reaches out of the water to grab his head then drags him below to his death. There’s your opener, just a wee bit of cheese to go with your soda.

The next scene has some guys out in broad daylight apparently after a days worth of fishing. Pretty good day too considering the size of their catch. A bit of small talk ensues where we learn it’s a charter, the captain’s family has been in town for generations, and his girlfriend is out of town. When they raise the anchor to head back to town it gets stuck on something. It’s a really powerful wench they have too as it almost pulls the boat under water when it gets jammed in the on position. Must have gotten it off a Hummer. They break free just in time but not before they stir something up on the ocean floor. Ooo.. Scary.

Enough about the plot. Let’s just say the town has a history that very few know about, and the fog is pissed off at them. Or rather, what’s in the fog is pissed at them. There’s really nothing here you won’t see coming except for a few of the obligatory “BOO!” moments, and this movie is full of these things. The special effects budget was so low that they used a really loud knocking sound to invoke terror in the audience, but I think most of the terror was people wondering if their ears were bleeding. Seriously, you’ve been warned.

This booger movie follows the recent Hollywood trend of releasing PG-13 movies around Halloween, keeping the rating low enough to guarantee crowds of teenagers, but also guaranteeing no nudity and very little blood. This also means there will be an “unrated directors cut” coming out on DVD in 6 months or less. With this one, I wouldn’t be surprised to see it before Christmas.

If you’re under 15 and want to see a generic horror movie, this will fit the bill. Anyone else will be better off waiting to rent the DVD.

Posted by John | Filed Under 2 Stars, DeRay Davis, Horror, Kenneth Welsh, Maggie Grace, PG-13, Selma Blair, Theatrical, Tom Welling