The Grudge
March 4, 2005
Rated: PG-13 Runtime: 96 min Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
It’s that time again kiddies; the noose is hung from the rafters with care with hopes that the Great Pumpkin soon would be there etc, etc, etc. What time am I talking about? Well, you know already, it is HALLOWEEN: (muhahahaha) and what happens every year this time around All Hallows Eve? The kids steal your hard earned money in the form of organized begging? Yes, but that’s not it. Really hot chicks dress up in French maid and Genie costumes and pretend to be naughty? Oh, yes but that’s not it either. Studios release what they consider to be horror movies and expect us to buy into it? BINGO, we have a winner.
Horror movies are slash or dodge (witty horror reference, always thinking) but in this movies case spooky-boogins is the theme of the day with this creep fest of a suspenser (new word) and although we really had no desire to see it, we are glad we gave it a chance. Since this was a remake of the Japanese horror flick �Ju-On’ much like The Ring was a remake of �Ringu’, we were not surprised that it would wind up being short on the gory and mighty tall on the creepy, and it delivers a 32oz Colt 45 (works every time)sized gulp of it. Well, let’s get on with it.
The story is set in Japan (duh?) and surrounds the people that own and visit a big house in the hills. Anyway, it stars Buffy the Vampire Slayer as an American exchange student; she works for a care center as a day time live in helper. Up until today she has not been alone in a client’s house but due to the absence of her co-worker Yoko (think she’s coming back?) she is sent to assist the Williams’ with their ailing momma Emma. When Buffy arrives on the scene she finds the place is a complete disaster area and the old broad is hanging half in and half out of her bed. SMG cleans up the place and bathes (ooohhh) the old lady and settles in to wait for the daughter-in-law to come home. Do you think she’s going to be waiting a while? We did, and we were right. Anywhoo, she starts hearing really weird noises coming out of the upstairs area of the house. Buffy heads up top to check it out. She finds an empty room with a closet that is sealed with tape. This is where the movie starts to lose me� when she decides to look and see what’s in there. Let, me stop right there a second. All movie goers know the rule of strange noises. NEVER LOOK TO SEE WHAT IT IS. Why do directors insist on forcing this issue? We all know there is no way we would look and when you see this movie and hear the noises I am talking about you will agree even more. I am not saying I scare easily or anything or that this movie is actually scary. I am just saying I would not open anything that is taped up and making noises without the assistance of my good friends Smith and Wesson.
Well, she does open the closet and she sees something that is not normally found in a closet of a house full of white people, and if you must know what she saw I suggest you check local show times and go see it by yourself (loser)� Or, you could make it a night out for the whole family this Halloweenie season. I took my son CC and even though it scared the crap out of him for a little time after it was over, even he said it was more stupid? than scary? I agree and it is all in the ending, although you know I won’t disclose it I will describe it in one work� SUCKed. If you want to see a real horror movie this week I suggest renting the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre, The Exorcist, Evil Dead or Halloween. In other words forget this thing and wait for it to make the home rental rounds and add it to your Netflix queue like any man does.
Popularity: 6% [?]
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(2 votes, average: 4 out of 5)