The Marine

February 1, 2007

Rated: PG-13 Runtime: 93 min Rating: 1 out of 5 stars

So you say the WWE wants to make another movie star? And this time around they’re pushing John Cena? Well, maybe that wasn’t such a good idea. After viewing The Marine, I’d have to say that, as an actor, Cena is a lot like The Rock…except not as good and lacking any real charisma. But as bad as this judgement of him is, that’s only the beginning where this movie is concerned.

The Marine The rest of the acting is, thankfully, done by real…you know…ACTORS. Unfortunately, they only performed marginally better than Cena. Robert Patrick (the T-1000 from T2), for instance, is capable of much better work than he put forth in this piece of celluloid trash.

As we examine other aspects of this cinematic turd loaf, it just gets worse. What genius thought the best candidate for writing the story for an action flick would be a WOMAN whose ONLY other effort was a no-name romantic comedy?!? And how about hiring a director whose only previous directing experience was a Pro Wrestling TV show? What were they THINKING?!? The completely cliche ridden story is downright painful to plod through and every scene is as predictable as Old Faithful

The special effects were reasonably well done, especially the explosions, but someone here needs to be educated in the basic laws of physics and biology. No, you can NOT out run the fireball of a giant explosion. No, you will NOT remain unblemished when people beat on your face. No, a car will NOT continue to function after taking 200 or so bullets to the engine.

I could go on and on, but the bottom line here isn’t hard to figure out. Stay away from this one. Far away.

Posted by Alex | Filed Under 1 Stars, Action, DVD, John Cena, Kelly Carlson, PG-13, Robert Patrick