The Skeleton Key

August 10, 2005

Rated: PG-13 Runtime: 104 min Rating: 2 out of 5 stars

The Skeleton Key is a thriller starring the always lovely Kate Hudson. Yes, I said thriller instead of horror movie. If you’re looking for a booger movie, definitely wait for the DVD release. You probably wont have to wait more than a couple of weeks.

What we have here is yet another variation of an old story that has been used in everything from Tales of the Crypt to The Twilight Zone to Star Trek. We wont spoil it by telling you which one, but you’ll likely recognize it at some point long before the movie is over. And from that point on, you’ll likely find The Skeleton Key very predictable.

This time the tale is told in the Louisiana bayous outside of New Orleans. Kate Hudson plays Caroline, a hospice nurse who takes a job providing home care for an old man who has had a stroke. The key word here is home care. The home is a spooky old hundred plus year old plantation house out in the bayou inhabited only by the man and his chain smoking wife. When Caroline gets nosey, she finds there may be more than meets the eye going on in this house.

Hudson does a wonderful job in this movie as usual. And as always she’s looking very hot. Just please dont remind us that she’s Goldie Hawn’s daughter. That really makes us feel old because we also used to really enjoy looking for the obligatory boob shot in Goldie’s movies. The rest of the cast does a good job too despite being a little over the top with the cajun accents. However the story was predictable, and the movie really failed to provide any tension. They had a great old house and swamp setting to work with, but only in a couple of scenes did they even make a feeble attempt at providing some of that classic “something is gonna get ya!” or “oh crap what’s around that corner!” kinda tension.

We didn’t leave the theater thinking it was horrible, but this is one of those movies that can absolutely wait for DVD. In fact, we’re holding out for the director’s cut to see if we can see some more of Kate’s tiny bouncy breasts! Yes, we’re pigs, but we know what we like. The Skeleton Key aint it, we give it 2 stars.

Posted by Billy Bob | Filed Under 2 Stars, Gena Rowlands, Horror, John Hurt, Joy Bryant, Kate Hudson, PG-13, Peter Sarsgaard, Theatrical, Thriller