Tomcats

December 10, 2004

Rated: R Runtime: 105 min Rating: 1 out of 5 stars

Tomcats is perhaps the worst movie I’ve seen in the last couple of years. Let’s just say that if I stepped in a big old greasy wet stinking pile of dog dung, and I saw this movie on the same day, the doggie doo doo would not be the low point of my day.

Tomcats

The storyline for this waste of celluloid revolves around a group of high school buddies who make a bet on who can avoid getting married the longest. This isn’t just any bet though, they each contribute money to the pot regularly and that money is invested. Turns out it’s invested very wisely. Several years later when only two remain unmarried, the grand total is nearly a half million dollars. About this same time one of the remaining bachelors makes some unwise bets in Vegas and ends up down $50K to some heavy hitters. He comes up with the scheme to keep his kneecaps by getting the other remaining bachelor married so he can get his hands on the winnings and pay off his debt.

The plot is just an excuse to tie a bunch of bits that are supposed to be funny together. To give you an idea of just how bad and hard to watch this is, at one point we have the leading man chasing his friend’s cancerous testicle which has been removed and stolen from medical waste around the hospital as it bounces around, rolls under things, ricochets down the hall like a super ball, etc. This is just an example of some of the “hilarious” bits in the movie.

Part of the problem with this abortion of a movie is that it has no idea what it wants to be. It tries comedy, but it’s just not funny. It tries a little romance, but also fails miserably. You would certainly think from the trailers that you’re going to get maybe some Porky’s type sex comedy and at least some good T&A, but instead you’re treated to hairy male butts only plus one brief glimpse of a hooter in the credits.

In short, Tomcats just sucks. Skip it. Unless they put some deleted nudity in or something, this one isn’t even worth a DVD rental.

Posted by Billy Bob | Filed Under 1 Stars, Comedy, Jaime Pressly, Jake Busey, Jerry O'Connell, R, Shannon Elizabeth, Theatrical, Tracy Kay Wolfe 

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